Monday, June 11, 2012

Signs and Wonders

The most magical, wonderful, glorious thing happened on this morning's run. I wish words here could do justice to what transpired. Sadly, I know I will fall pitifully short in the explanation.

The Monday run is usually a handful of boys and me, often times with another token woman as an added bonus. However, in light of her bike accident, my girlfriend is on the disabled list for a few more weeks. Another steamy morning workout and on this particular day, just reliable Barry showed. We talked a lot of PTA today for some reason. He told me all about the weekend's kid-related sporting events, tween angst at co-ed parties (a new development this year for his twelve-year-old boy), and the desire to continue to nurture a relationship with kids that facilitates open lines of communication.

I shared my own observations of the many differences between boys and girls this past week while working the beach with the Junior Lifeguards program, and how disparate the society of teen boys and teen girls truly is in these volatile years. They desperately want to interface and intermingle, but teen boys and girls are so different, they may as well be completely separate species altogether. It is very awkward, painful even, to watch the worlds collide.

We ran our usual route, over the first bridge, North along the coastal highway, and past the Catholic church. I love the rare morning when we actually cut through the church parking lot because the lights from the stained glass windows create a surreal glow that reminds me of Christmas decorations from my childhood when all the world was Noel. We neared the local art museum and cut through the heavily wooded park. Our group always stops for water under the creaky oaks, now quiet in the still summer air. I love that path because it feels haunted, creepy and forlorn, as though we are entering at our own risk. Goosebumps. Fun.

There is a running joke among our running group about the many creatures, both real and imagined, out in the dark morning hours. Our nearsighted doctor friend once saw a "cat" where a palm frond lay in the street, and I have been known to mistake similar debris in the road for snakes. I think Barry has balked at more than one overgrown tropical spider in its web, and Bill once squealed like a school girl when a crusty fiddler crab crossed his path.



Creatures of the Night

We do run ridiculously early, so it's not all that uncommon to catch Mother Nature before she has put her creatures of the night to bed.We have seen gators in the river, experienced coral snakes in the shoulder, heard the many whippoorwills calling their morning songs to each other, witnessed wayward butterflies who have lost track of time, and been confronted with menacing raccoons.

Today, however, was different. It was nothing short of a storybook page. Once my running partner and I hit the dark and winding sidewalk to our water oasis under the oaks, I caught something rustling in the leaves next to my feet. I startled, as usual, and of course Barry remarked about my fear of even harmless bunnies, but this was no rabbit. As my eyes adjusted in the tunnel of dark trees, I knew at once what it was. I think I whimpered with delight and disbelief.

A tiny Eastern Screech Owlet was hopping through the dead leaves, looking for breakfast, I presume. It was so small and vulnerable, fragile in features, yet entirely majestic in presence. The most magical component about this moment when all time stopped, was that this amazing creature did not seem bothered by us in the least. It looked at us with its curious saucer eyes, made an audible noise of sorts, and then continued about its business. It wasn't until we actually approached it, to make sure it was not injured, since its behavior was so out of the ordinary, that the bitty thing flew up to a low lying branch. Now at our eye level, and spectacular in the moonlight breaking through the boughs, that small bird caused us to hardly to breathe.

It sounds ridiculous, that one small creature could create such a stir, but in the silence of those dark morning hours, I think there was an unspoken agreement between us. Somehow, we both knew this unusual experience was a gift. It was symbolic of something much greater than our regularly scheduled run. It was to be acknowledged with reverence and gratitude, if only by observing a moment of silence.

"Where is your camera when you really need it?" Barry whispered.

I could only nod in agreement. I didn't want to break the silence any further. I think that baby bird would have flown to my hand had I had the sense to extend my arm, it was so tame. It was then we heard its mother reprimanding it for allowing danger so close, but still, it sat on that branch, taking us in, interrogating us with its intense marble eyes. It was unreal.

We stood there in awe for a long time, far too long for my clock, ticking to get to work with the Junior Guards. I simply couldn't break away. I was starting to believe I was Aurora from Sleeping Beauty in the glade, in touch with the animals of the forest, or Snow White, singing to her feathered friends. (I grew up on Disney, you know.) Reluctantly, we tiptoed away from the feathered loveliness and made our way to the water fountain.

Signs, Wonders, and Confirmation

I often think these fleeting moments in our lives are signs and confirmations. We are gifted with these experiences to force us to take inventory of just how small we are in the grand scheme happening all around us. I wonder if these wonders help nurture not only a greater love and appreciation for nature, but also of our place in it. They are symbolic confirmations that we are headed the right way. These are the moments in time I want to lock in my head and my heart forever, as never to forget they actually happened.

What dreamlike state have you experienced lately? When you came through the fog, glossy-eyed and dizzy in disbelief, how were you able to apply the magic to the bigger picture of your daily grind again?




Sunday, June 10, 2012

Kaleidoscope Hopes

I love running. It feeds my creative soul and lubes the gears in my head. Lost in thought for endless miles, running fuels my hopes and dreams. Yesterday was no exception.

I woke to more rain yesterday morning, after a continuous drizzle Friday afternoon. I was grateful for the cloud cover at Junior Guards all morning. The Captain and I have been blessed with mostly hazy skies and minimal heat this past week, even swimming in the rain some mornings. Ocean swimming in the rain is my absolute favorite...particularly when there isn't any lightning to stress about.

Rain makes for lousy training, however. Our long bike was a no-go after checking the radar and consulting with The Safety Supervisor, Barry. I reluctantly climbed back into bed for a couple more hours of restless guilty sleep, then woke blurry eyed and headed to the gym. (It was still raining with lightning.)

I climbed on the dreadmill without really thinking about how many miles I wanted to run. I just felt like moving, really. Those are often the best workouts. I sometimes wing it when I roll into the gym, undecided which body part to lift or how much cardio I want to accomplish. This day, I was flex and open to anything. I ended up with just over ten miles, but it wasn't how many times the belt cycled on my hamster wheel...it was the cogs of my mind turning round and round that made it worthwhile.

Do you ever feel as though the pieces of your world are finally falling into place? From the experiences you had as a child, to memories and dreams floating in your head, everything suddenly appears to be culminating into something more formable, more tangible, as if it all could really morph into a meaningful purpose for your existence? The lows and highs, the colorful pieces that make us the kaleidoscope of who we are, sometimes make the present, but almost more importantly, the future, abundantly obvious. I was thinking about the hurts and misgivings I've suffered, the awards and accolades achieved, the love taken or love lost....I felt as though I was watching a movie of my life in my head and the meaning was so clear.

I knew at once what I am called to do.

In these moments, when I am floating on a rotating belt, my thoughts carry me far from the workout. I am not thinking about the Iron distance or how many stupid miles I have covered. I'm not worrying about the fact I never washed the ocean out of my hair from the previous day (I really love ocean hair....it's wavy and wildly fun to go out with). I am not thinking about the skin cancer that needs to come off my face or where my kids are going to school next year. Happily, I am thinking--truly believing--that everything is going to fall into place just exactly where it should. Suddenly, everything is really not all that abstract.




Don't get me wrong, there are still so very many experiences in my journey thus far I truly do not understand, and dare say I have no use for, but more and more, I have clarity for the future. I know who I am. I know what I want. I know where I am going, regardless of who is traveling with me. I don't want to just hope. I am going to believe.