Avoiding Missed Opportunities

One thing I am beginning to appreciate and embrace when taking photos out in nature is that I simply need to seize the moment. I need to stop worrying about trying to get the perfect shot and allow for error. When the moment presents itself, I am understanding more than ever that I just have to grab it, hold my breath, and hope the outcome is going to be okay. Instead of obsessing about capturing the perfect photo, maybe it is more important to just get the photo by taking a chance and taking several. 

Wait, Wait, Wait...Too Late

The precious moments that fascinate me, the ones I long to capture on camera, are unapologetically fleeting. They are the slices of life that sprint away from us, often never to be replicated, much like the one I desperately wanted today when I stumbled upon two baby raccoons in The Stick Marsh. I wanted those fuzzy, adorable creatures together in the same frame. I kept waiting as they cooed to each other, meandering through the cattails in childlike confusion. If patient enough, I hoped I would catch them peeking their matching masked-faces above the tall grass, huddled together, frightened, in a calendar-worthy portrait. While I was waiting for these wild (and possibly rabid) creatures to pose and perform, I missed the opportunity entirely. They tired of my persistent presence and disappeared deeper into the thick brush. 

Trying to Get It Perfect, or Just Trying to Get It?

Just as life imitates art, I am becoming increasingly aware of the many parallels between photography and life. When am I going to stop worrying about trying to get it perfect? Will I ever learn to seize the moment without analyzing every possible outcome? How could I possibly be expected to get it Goldilocks "just right" when I have never lived this life before, never seen the experiences in a dream, never been given a manual to navigate the convoluted parts? 

Regret is Not a Bad Word

I wish I would have taken several shots of those stealthy raccoons as they weaved about because, chances are, I may have turned out even one worthwhile shot of them together. I often think about missed opportunities and the feelings of regret that accompany them. Mostly I wonder how can we avoid similar pitfalls of our past that plague us; how might we be wary enough to avoid repeating the same mistakes? Contrary to the opinion of some of my closest companions, I don't believe regret is a negative emotion. I think it provides us important accountability with regard to future decisions.

First, Know Thyself

I have several friends who have divorced, only to go on to date (and often remarry) an identical personality as the original spouse. Consider sparing yourself the same heartache. Invest first in yourself by healing your wounds, and delve into why you were not compatible with your original spouse in the first place. Before heading down the same road again, understand the driver. The more intimately you know yourself, the more successful your intimate relationships will be. You will be more inclined to choose a partner who compliments you. 


Change Your Behavior and Influence that of Others

What is the definition of insanity? According to Einstein, it's doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. My son doesn't respond to change easily. He isn't good with transition. Abruptly pulling the rug out from under him will only guarantee a meltdown. I have learned to give several countdown warnings before moving him on to a new activity or I would never get out the door on time. If you do not like the course you're on, change direction by changing the behavior. You may not be able to control the behavior of those around you, but certainly you can alter your own to influence a better result. You are in the driver's seat and determine the destination. If you find you simply don't mesh with the backseat driver, consider kicking him out of the car and continue on down the highway. 


Don't Allow Fear to Limit Your Opportunities

Sometimes it's just about starting. We have to take that first, terrifying step to find the reassurance we need to know we are going to make it. I used to be terrified to run with the fastest track group. Week after week, I showed up and hung comfortably with the middle pack. I was discouraged my race times were not improving. Against my better judgment, I showed up for the Sunday morning fast group. That first ten mile run was the worst pain I ever knew, but know what? The week after that felt more comfortable, and the week after that, easier still. I began to settle into that pace and suddenly the road wasn't so daunting. I shaved fifteen minutes off my next marathon. The greatest missed opportunities are often the ones we never pursued because fear held us captive. If the big picture is too overwhelming, focus on the smaller, more palatable pieces initially. You will never know your limits unless you test them.


Focus All the Way to the Finish


Watching the Olympics, I am repeatedly amazed to see swimmers take gold by a margin as small as 1/100th of a second. Talk about intense. That is owning the opportunity. That is serious focus to the finish. Most of these races have come down to the athlete with the strongest push all the way to the wall. It's hard to miss an opportunity when you can keep it in view, even if that means adjusting your vantage point from time to time. Remain focused on the ultimate goal and the hurdles will fade into the periphery. Distractions are inevitable, but don't allow them to derail you. 


Feed Your Needs


Don't be afraid to reevaluate your circumstances or renegotiate new terms when it comes to finding satisfaction. Life is not static, and neither are we as individuals. Our tastes change, as do our requirements for fulfillment. This may be the case for you regarding career, creative pastimes, or close relationships. Something that once fed you may leave you feeling hungry for something more now. It's important to be authentic and honest with those evolving needs in order to avoid missing the opportunities that await you.


Find Forgiveness for Yourself


Above all, find forgiveness-- not just for those around you, but for yourself, as well. People are going to hurt us. Those we hold closest will disappoint us; this is inevitable when we live in relationship with others. Forgiving others allows us to move forward. Forgiving ourselves allows us to heal. Missing out on opportunities is sometimes merely a question of timing and who we find ourselves engaging with in various seasons of our lives. Striving to be as healthy and whole as possible will lead you to like people in perfect time, then the opportunities truly are endless. 


How do you feel about and measure regret? Knowing what you know now, at what point in your life would you change your course of direction if you could?