These Wheels

Headed into The New Year, we are all about resolutions and improvements and counting our blessings. It’s hard to believe we are rolling into 2013, harder to swallow, perhaps, we are another year older, if not wiser.

I have so many blessings, far too many to even count, to be sure. When I think about my most basic necessities and how they are met in excess, I am humbled to tears. These last few weeks have been a challenge for me, regarding heath, which gives me pause to again consider how much I take for granted daily.

My car is in the shop. I left it with the mechanic before leaving town so that I might not be terribly inconvenienced or have to adjust my schedule too much without access to wheels. I thought I just needed new brake pads, but received the call a few days ago that the brakes are just fine. It’s the rotors that need replacing, and perhaps the whole ABS system. I was hoping I could just continue to ignore that “check engine” and “ABS” light for another handful of months.

I love my car. It’s old, but it’s reliable. It’s not as atheistically pleasing as it used to be, but it’s mine. The paint is scratched and scarred. It has a nice ding in the rear bumper where someone clipped it and failed to leave a note. The interior has seen better days, before those of spilled chocolate milk.

The mechanic said he couldn’t be sure what was causing the check engine light to engage, and perhaps replacing the rotors and adjusting the brakes would help. If not, and the more likely scenario, I am going to have to dump an additional $3500 into it for a whole new ABS system. This, or I may choose to never drive in snow or slippery conditions again in this vehicle. Then he went on to reprimand me for the filthy disgrace of the bearings.

“Yes. I do take it in the mud, despite its limited 2WD status,” I told him.

He wasn’t impressed.

Similar to my car, I am having body issues. My check engine light came on in the form of what was originally thought to be a running injury. The ultrasound, x-ray, and MRI revealed nothing unsatisfactory, and the knee pain quickly resolved. In fact, it disappeared almost as quickly as it showed up, thankfully. 

Three weeks later came the arm. It presented with similar symptoms on the opposite side of my body: pain, discoloration, heat, and almost feverish. This prompted doctor friends to order blood tests, which have thus far turned up negative or inconclusive. Medical professionals are stumped.

So why is my check engine light on? Like my vehicle, why are these wheels breaking down? With systems so complicated, is it any wonder we have trouble getting to the heart of the issue?

Part of my problem is my impatience and inability to wait for answers. I want to know what is wrong and how to fix it immediately. It’s not good enough for me to learn there may be something deeper going on than the brake pads with no promises for how to fix it and how long my ride will be down.

Furthermore, I cannot stand the idea that I might be down with the question mark of what is really wrong with my system? What is going on inside and just how serious is it? What does it mean? How much am I going to be inconvenienced? Will it impact my workouts? What if it’s serious?

Perhaps it is high time I am really am more appreciative of the vehicle that works so hard for me everyday, schlepping me everywhere I need to go, running a million miles around town, fluid and reliable.

I really appreciate my car, too. It takes me where I need to go and then some.

This New Year, I can honestly say I am most grateful to know the health that has graced me for so long. And while I may not as aesthetically pleasing as I used to be with all of my scars and dings and nicks, I am thankful for the mileage I have on this body because it has allowed me to play in the mud and experience a lot of life.

Gratitude has new meaning again.